my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
