my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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