What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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