I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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