Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
420 ftw
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
