my mouth tastes like poor choices
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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