i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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