Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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