you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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