Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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