Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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