Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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