Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
