dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
