Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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