Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
