i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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