I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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