I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
