U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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