I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
