if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
