She's JV to your varsity
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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