you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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