is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
