Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
