Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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