let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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