Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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