Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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