I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
How's work?
Spinning.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
