U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
