I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
