Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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