Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
