Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize