i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i dont even know how to be here
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We need a shit load of segways right now
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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