My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
