Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
