Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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