You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you didnt know i had herpes?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
