I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
