Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
