i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
