ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
