mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
