i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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