He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Someone signed my nipple.
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