I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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