You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
