your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
