Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
