We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize