Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
