he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
