you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
