i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He has the fingertips of a God
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