If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
